Black Diamond Burlesque artfully teases The Scenestress

(See a slideshow of the performers in Black Diamond Burlesque.)

Ratchet Rendezvous showing her wares before the show. Quite the appe-teaser!

I was one of many Black Diamond Burlesque “virgins” in the house at McCurdy’s Comedy Theatre (3333 N. Tamiami Trail, Sarasota 34234) last Saturday night for the ladies’ second anniversary show, ready and willing to be inducted into the ravishing troupe’s collection of avid “family jewels.” Most of us were sweating even before our first peek at a pastie ... we'd been waiting outside the venue in a stiflingly humid night as the line grew and grew until it almost reached the parking lot; the 250 or so of us put another notch on the Black Diamond beauties’ belt for a running streak of sold-out shows.

Although I felt plenty anxious to see what all the fuss was about, the show started even before we got in the door! And I’m not just talking about my fellow voyeurs, though I was dazzled by one grand dame’s open-backed dress, revealing a hide caked in gold glitter. I spotted one fellow sporting a satin smoking jacket, and another in an honest-to-god kilt ... though I didn't care to ponder too long on the advantages of donning such unrestrictive attire to a strip-tease.

My attention was diverted by a small sideshow that sprung up around us: Brian Yoder (a.k.a Brazos the Rat) strolled up and down the line with his ukulele, belting out tunes. In one corner a petite girl swung a flashing LED hula hoop over her head, while a dashing man of mystery performed illusions with crystal orbs.

While we were being thoroughly entertained, the burlesque's “stage kitten” Ratchet Rendezvous passed through the crowd with a big box of favors for sale, including candy cigarettes, vintage gum and glistening pasties to take home for our own, ah, amusement. I snapped pictures until my phone died.

Magic, before the magic.

Finally, the doors opened to a smattering of applause from the front of the line. A hostess led me to a table in a shadowy corner – where else to watch burlesque, right? I ordered a beer and eavesdropped on the anticipatory chatter around me. That’s how I found out that the show was beyond sold-out – they'd already sold 40 tickets to the next performance!

After the lights went down, I soon found out why. The eight performers put on one hell of a show that left me breathless from laughing, hooting and hollering in a most unladylike fashion. The crowd roared every time an article of clothing hit the floor, be it a beaded bustier or a glitter-filled glove. I’ve been bored by other bare skin parades, but this one kept me sitting at attention for each and every act.

Candy Muldune was a luscious opener in her red-hot “firebird” act, followed by tiny Mina Munroe as a not-quite-innocent flower child. The Titty Sisters were a riot in their duets, and Top Hat Dave’s heavily tattooed muscles raised the temperature in the audience by a more than a few degrees.

The acts kept getting wilder: Mademoiselle Rowdy Pants made for an unsettlingly seductive ape, stripping from a hairy gorilla suit down to the tiniest green thong I’ve ever seen in my life. Mina turned herself into a human sundae with all the toppings and a full split to finish.

Troupe leader Miss Petite Coquette delivered the climax of the show with a stunning splash. I’d heard about her legendary bathtub routine, and it did not disappoint. We were all leaning progressively closer as Coquette soaped herself down onstage, and almost half the crowd ended up splattered with suds. I didn’t hear any complaining, though, only squeals of tantalized delight.